Pearce the Heart

  I decided to write about a counselling post for Dec. 11, 2025. I was talking to my counsellor, and we decided to talk to The Bully part of me and how it doesn't want me to get better . With that during my counselling session with my counsellor she tried to get me to say I want to get better – and The Bully part would scream at me and say “NO You Will Never Get Better” and it would use a plastic spoon to hit a towel really hard as it wanted to hurt me, but I promised my hubby I wouldn’t hurt myself anymore – so instead it screamed and hit the towel with the plastic spoon really hard. Doing all that made me so scared 😳 !!! Then when I tried to go up against it - and say “I DESERVE TO GET BETTER” and then it says “NO You Don’t”. My counsellor reminds me that the Bully lies and is only trying to cause me more pain. My counsellor said it has way too much power and it's important to stand up against it to make it smaller. Hehe my counsellor said The Bully is an A-hol...

  I decided that I wanted to write an important post from Nov. 27, 2025 counselling. I had been struggling with the fear and anxiety that’s in my body and mind, as it had been stronger.   It’s so frustrating as I seem to get it more oddly enough on Tuesdays and Thursdays.   It’s not like I don’t get it other times, as it’s pretty constant the struggle, but some days are just too much. So when I talking to my Counsellor she asked me to describe it.   At first I wasn’t sure what that would look like.   She said it could be an object, or a room or anything that scares me. So I thought it through and at my worst I saw it as a Black Spikey Dungeon and it keeps getting close and closer where it could almost hurt or even kill me, and it feels like I am suffocating and can’t breathe as I’m so scared of having the spikes over take me. My counsellor then said are there times when the fear and anxiety are a little better, and what would that look like. I said tha...

  I decided that I would write about My 40 th Birthday Celebrations that were from Nov.9 to my Actual Birthday on Nov.11, 2025. I started my 40 th Birthday Celebration at my Mom’s place.   I normally have a lot of anxiety, but I was feeling more calm at that time.   It was good to see some of my family with of course my hubby there too.   It was 2 days early from my Birthday and we ended up having our first snow fall, which I appreciated as I like snow.    It was like an early Birthday Present from Elohim (God).   I went for a walk with my Mom and Sister and we even saw snow on the leaves of the trees, which was pretty as normally in November the leaves would have been gone by now.   So it was pretty cool to see the snow with the leaves. After we got back to my Mom’s place the rest of the family played card games, which was fun.   It felt so good to feel happy.   Then after eating a wonderful supper my mom made it was time for...

  On Nov.3, 2025 I connected with my newer female counsellor and she helped me figure out Tools to help me work through my Emotions. I have to admit that I often feel so alone in my Mental Struggles with my Anxiety and Depression that plague me so much.   So she suggested I find a childhood stuff animal that I could hold onto to not feel so alone.   So I found an old stuff animal, Bonnie Bunny, and I could just cry, and know that she would be there for me and I could talk to her and she would listen with no judgement.   Another thing I often use is a Blanket that I put over my legs, as strangely enough I feel my anxiety the most in my legs.   Having that over me not only keeps me warm as I am often cold, but it also calms me, as I rub my legs and use the Kitty Blanket I got from my sister to calm me down.     I told me counselor it may seem strange having my anxiety strongest in my legs, and she said that makes sense as I often want to run away i...

  I know it’s been awhile since I last wrote a post, but I had an Unexpected Peace from Elohim (God) come to me on Nov. 2, 2025, which I felt I needed to write this important post about it. I have been super struggling with my anxiety, depression, and obsessions that go through my head and body.   It has caused me to find it hard to feel for people, and all I want to do is curl up in a ball and disappear.   I get so anxious and feel it throughout my whole body and mind.   I feel scared all the time, and even when people try to help me, I often don’t accept it, as I feel so trapped that I can’t even let someone help me. Even encouraging messages can turn me off, I try to accept them, but they often don’t penetrate me as the darkness is often stronger. With all that I have found it hard to connect with Elohim (God) even though I want Him so badly.   I admit I don’t pray much as I find it hard to do much of anything.   I just wonder where is He. I’ve...

  This is my 200 th post, and on January 24, 2025 I ended up having a pretty funny dream.  Hehe, earlier in the night I dreamed my hubby came out and saying “ Pants 👖 😃 ” , and I'm like yes you have them, And again he said “Pants my Love 🥰👖😁 ”. And I said again yup you have Pants. And then I think the song with Stevie Wonder was playing “I just came to say how much I love you 🥰 .” And with all of that it made me laugh 😄🙂 and smile so I didn't want to forget about it, so I messaged my hubby about it while I remembered, and then I went back to sleep 😴😉 . So when I got up later and my hubby saw me, the first thing He said to me is Pants 👖 😃. I really felt like Elohim (God) was saying to me I see that you have been struggling so much mentally everyday with your anxiety and depression, as well as you gut stuff, and I just wanted to make you smile and laugh, so you can hold onto that and see that your life is still worth living even in these very difficult ti...