A Lesson on Love and Missing Someone

 

I decided to write a post from Apr. 17, 2026.  I had been struggling mentally with my anxiety, depression and obsessions for years now, and when it gets really hard I end up crying and even saying “Mommy, Mommy”  even though I have nothing to be afraid of at home with my Husband – I can’t help saying “Mommy, Mommy” as I just want all those fears I have inside of myself to go away and they don’t so all I want is to be is comforted.

Since that was coming up more often on my hard days, my hubby and I felt that it would be important for me to go to my Mom’s place for 5 days and see if in those troubled times that unexpectedly come up that Mom could help me through it and not to feel so afraid.

One of the stresses I had so much connected to my Gut pains was about figuring out the food situation and what we would eat during my time away was something that caused me to not want to come to my Mom’s place at first.  But when my Mom was open to having what I normally had at home that relaxed me.

So I got there, and suddenly my Mom bought multiple things for the same day, and I was so worried about having too many things to choose from to eat, and as I cried, My Mom said often you’ll be able to figure out what you actually want on the day of, so worrying about it the day before wasn’t helpful.

I really struggle with change, as I feel this need to plan everything in my life to the extreme at times, so even just choosing between Chicken one Day or Lasagna another day was almost too much for me.

So as my Mom helped me decide to have leftovers of the Lasagna because it tasted so good, though I thought I couldn’t change my Food Schedule, I did.  It was scary for me to be more open in that way, but once I did, I relaxed more.

I was anxious about a puzzle I brought from Home and if I would be able to finish it or not with my Mom, so part of me wasn’t sure I would want to start it, when I wasn’t sure we’d be able to finish it.  So that was another stressor that came up for me, it doesn’t sounds like not much, but little things often become big things for me.

So my Mom again helped me by saying she or my sister could finish the puzzle if we couldn’t get it done.  So we started it, and it became such a Comforting and Zen thing to do for the both of us.  We aren’t normally puzzle people, but watching the puzzle come together, it made the hours just fly by.  To my surprise we actually finished the 500 piece puzzle the night before I had to go home. 

Another thing that I did which was a bigger change, was I got up early, instead of staying in bed late.  That was scary too as too much time often gives me too much anxiety, so I sleep in to make the day go by.  When I tried getting up earlier with my Mom I felt more free than I had in awhile.  I think it was because I knew I could do things with my Mom, and if my anxiety became too much then I could go to her for help and she also suggested going to Elohim (God) to it as that’s where Love and Peace are.

So I decided when I got home to try to stay awake after my hubby got up in the morning, and I was still anxious, but not as much as I have been.  I realized though I had been anxious about changes at my Mom’s place, even good change, it was worth going.

I ended up missing my Mom after I left, which was a big thing, as often my mental struggles are so loud for me every day that I can’t seem to focus on anything else.  I think Elohim wanted me to go see my Mom for a bit to see that she really does love and care for me a lot, and that Elohim has my back even when I don’t realize it.

Normally when you miss something it can make you feel sad, but this time it helped me feel love, which I have struggled to feel for others like I used to, so I was actually glad it caused me to care again, and want to try to get better again.

So I know it can be really hard to change when you are so very scared, but it’s worth it, even if it’s just a little thing, as that little thing could cause you to be more open for healing and freedom from Elohim (God).

Patricia   <3    :)

 

Romans 8:28    And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

 

Here’s a song that’s about giving up control and giving your burdens to God and how Beautiful that can be as He comforts us.

 

“How Beautiful” by Hillside Recording

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EXIdx979Hw&list=PLcrGhhNZPRAgU8pdbqqrmr1yUslJ0jrx7&index=18