Another Good Day to bring about Perspective

 

I decided to write an important post on about how sometimes things can be off and it can still bring about a good day.

This isn’t always the case, but I have notice lately that some of my Good Days are often on the days I don’t sleep as well.  It might be that my better sleeping days I have where my mood isn’t as great may have to do with the aspect of coming out of the deep sleep I so need as I keep needing to catch up on soooo many days of not great sleep that it keeps me so groggy that I end up not feeling up to doing not much of anything.

Or maybe my Good Day is because I finally got enough food in or too much and it keeps me awake enough to focus on my writing, which in general writing tends to keep me more calm as I get what I feel I need to get out on the computer.

Either way, regardless of if it causes me to not sleep or get sleep I always appreciate these Good Days as unfortunately over these past 4 years since my Gut stuff started & my Mental struggles have gotten so much worse those days tend to be a rarity.

So between Aug. 14 & 15, 2023 I ended up having 1 ½ days worth of a Good Day.  I’m not saying that I never have good moments, as I can have those throughout the day, but often they aren’t until closer to the end of the day and it’s usually to do with eating something or watching a show I like.

Sometimes it can even be from talking or texting my hubby, going for a walk, talking to my Mom, or whatever else that might put me in a good mood like volunteering at the foodbank.

But in general, it doesn’t last all day or at the most 1 day, it’s not a type of thing that normally carries over the next day.

I absolutely love it when I have a Good Mood Day 😃🥰 ❤️ besides it totally changes how I feel, but it changes my perspective on things, and to be honest it makes me feel normal again.  As before these good mood type days I remember having this as my go to when I woke up in the morning before things changed so dramatically almost 4 years ago.

It’s like the song “Walking on Sunshine” by Katrina & The Waves with the words “I’m walking on Sunshine woah… and Don’t you Feel Good – and later “I feel alive, I feel the love, I feel the love that’s really real”.

I honestly couldn’t help but smile even with feeling quite sleep deprived as I had only had a few hours sleep, but I felt totally wide awake and finally be able to do things.  I actually had a pep in my step and everything “normal people” think are so mundane -was so exciting for me like messaging people – seeing a genuine smile on my face, finally working on my writings, getting to organize my Mom’s cluttered cupboards!! Going on Social Media, looking at my e-mail for more than a second, being able to concentrate and read an article or something else for more than minute, and so many other things.

When you see and think through darkness then the light turns you off.  But when you finally have an “adjusted to the light type day” it’s like Oh My Goodness Praise The Lord – I am Alive Again 😃 😃🥰 and I always thank my incredible Elohim (God) for those days.  I try to take advantage of them when I can as I have no clue when they are going to come around again.

I’m just like Wow everything just shines & it was a Sunny Day too those 1 ½ days for sure that was God’s light shinning down on me 😊🤗☀️🌞 and you just can’t help but dance too 💃🥰   as everything seems exciting, new and fun!!

From an outsiders perspective you might be like well maybe she has bi-polar and honestly that thought has crossed my mind as 1 ½ days later I was back to really struggling, and if for some reason I happened to have that officially down the road I’d accept that, but it’s probably the extreme differences between the states, either way at the time all I knew is that I was like I was really myself again – and I’d give anything to just keep that around again.

It’s like I suddenly woke up 4 years before or jumped ahead 4 years into the future where everything was either as it was before or will be better in the future.

It was topped off with seeing some old work mates I hadn’t seen in 9 years, oh it was so lovely, as they didn’t stop thinking of me over the years even ones that only worked in the same store as me.  You often don’t realize what an impression you can make until later, they said my smile was the one thing about me that they could never forget as it was such a lovely one.  I’d agree not just because of having a nice one, but more so now because a genuine one means I’m actually feeling happy.

Hehe😊🥰 I even made a little video for my hubby of me in my good mood, as I knew he wouldn’t be around and I wanted him to see and experience it too.  There is just something infectious about good moods you just want to share it with others to hold onto if they can.

But one thing I did actually notice a difference was that I also could feel and care for others that I remembered I used to have so much more for others come back a lot more stronger that 1 ½ days.  I was messaging someone’s daughter that I knew had struggled a lot in the past and had recently been doing better and I felt so much love for this daughter and the mother and her family.

Then randomly this young woman messaged me as we hadn’t messaged in awhile and it really was the perfect day for her to message me as something in me when I saw her message was like I just need to pray for this incredible girl, as I knew she had gone through some hard struggles, some I had experience myself.  I wanted her to know that she didn’t need to pretend with me, as I knew how dark depression, anxiety, and other things can be. 

I just felt Elohim (God) put it on my heart to love on her as best as I could.  Because I had messaged her back that day – I told myself if I happened to be in a bad mood later that I made a promise to myself I’d message her back no matter how difficult it was for me to do so.

With people that have had really deep depression can know even messaging “hi” is a huge struggle when you are so deep in it.  When you can barley do any of the things that makes you feel better – whether it’s actually good for you or not – then adding another thing for someone else is near impossible.

I was so glad I was able to look outside of myself, as I know that’s what true love is for others and I felt that so strongly that day.

Then the next day I went for a walk by myself, which normally I used to do that all the time, but I had become so nervous and depressed about those things, I haven’t been able to go out for a walk unless I go with someone lately.

So I actually was outside in the sunshine in the morning and even messaging people while I was on the walk, dancing a little to my music and admiring the flowers at this public garden I walked to. 

I just couldn’t believe that it had lasted for more than 1 day and it made me realize that I could legit say in that moment – though not as much later, that I found that day that connecting with Others & My incredible Elohim, and helping others and having a Good Day was so much better than Food!! 

For someone that not only has an ED, but for it to become a Food Addiction - as it’s the only thing that gets them through life – with the extremely brutal internal struggle each day – that’s HUGE!! 😲.

I’m not the type to be proud of myself, but I had to say I was just a little proud of myself for saying that and meaning it, even if I only felt it for that short time, it is still progress to feel that at all, even though I didn’t later.

I prayed to the Lord to continue to help me have this as a regular thing.  You guiding me to help others the way You want me too ❤️❤️ and help me one day soon to get me truly better Mind, Body & Spirt - to finally love myself and find myself through You ❤️.

I just wanted to remind you again about the “Walking on Sunshine” song again, and that part of “I’m walking on Sunshine woah… and Don’t you Feel Good” that’s great and all and having that extra pep in that step is awesome, but don’t you want to know why that person or myself is actually feeling good?

I know for sure I’m gotten jealous of people that are genuinely happy as it’s what I want and wanting that is so good, but not knowing how to get there makes happiness seem too difficult for a depressed person as it seems hopeless to hold onto.

But to actually feel that like the song goes  “I feel alive, I feel the love, I feel the love that’s really real”.   It makes you feel all those things.  When I was feeling normal again I was realizing I wasn’t hating my life, as normally I am thinking about my gut stuff, my mental struggles, my worries, my this my that my my my…

I was thinking of the happiness, but most importantly I was feeling the love and joy that Elohim (God) was trying to show me.  He was trying to show me what a day in my life would be when I someday am fully healed.  It’s not to say I had nothing go wrong that day, as there was gut stuff going on, and yup by the end of the day when I started struggling again I gave in and way over ate when I shouldn’t have.

But I didn’t forget that day, as I felt the Love for others and for Elohim and I actually accepted the Love back – which was what was actually going on that day – the Real Love, which is so unheard of for me when it comes to accepting it.  So to have that, oh Praise Elohim it was glorious 😍.

And you want to know something truly crazy?  Yes I know you do, as I know for certain you have been hanging onto every single word I have written, oohh look you are randomly reading me write and say boooyyaaahhhh hehe, made you read 😉.

Can you imagine this is just one Good Day for me – but at this point as much as there is a true love in me for my precious Elohim – I actually legit haven’t fully accepted His Love & Fully Trusted & Rely on Him, I’ve just done little bits here and there. 

So can you imagine that He’s doing allllll this with my little bits.!!!   😲 😍.  So can you imagine someday when I give that all to Him – woooo weee wow!!! – Praise Elohim, as that will be an Insanely Strong Powerful Day for Team Patricia & Elohim as what we will have will be a Gazillion times the strength than before or even of that day.

As that’s when I finally let Elohim be a Part of my Team instead of always letting the enemy and myself lose by letting them and myself get down on myself – but no more after that happens as – There will be a Chain from Elohim that will never be broken.  As it will be reinforced each time the enemy and others try to break it.  But they and the enemy won’t be able to, as with His Love & Truth it will make it stronger.

And That’s what I desperately need.  And I’m not even there yet -Isn’t that craziness!! 😲😉

But I’m soo excited to one day get there - and oooooooohhhhh I’ll be soooo honoured to receive all this from Him as honestly He is Thee most Patient being I have ever know, as I am soooooooo extremely stubborn & still not all of me wants to let go.

But He knows the pathways for me to get there & I am Willing to Let Him Change my Will.  I know it won’t be easy & and I honestly really don’t like that!! But Who does?!

But I know it will be worth it in the end, I just ask for it to be soon Elohim, please hehe 🙏🤗, but really whatever time that will get me to that pathway I ask for is when I want it, as I want it to stick forever and not be a fall back thing.  Thank you Lord for what you are doing in me each day, and even though I often don’t see the change in me, thank you that you continue to surprise me as you do.  I Love You for that and You My Elohim ❤️.

So for those that are out there reading this, that are brutally struggling each and every day as I have been for many years.  I sooooooooo applaud you, please don’t give up!!! There is a reason you are still here, and whether you believe it or accept it or not Elohim (God) is letting you live not to torture you – that’s the enemy’s game – but to keep you here for a purpose He only knows that would fulfill you the most, as well as to help others as well as Him in your life.

So though everything seems soooo black and dark, remember the sun comes up each day, so even if you can’t see it, remember like this Good Day I talked about, will come around again, just believe in Him and He will show you this.

If you couldn’t already tell, Yes I notice my Elohim writes through me when I write, so I’m not just writing to you, but He’s writing to me too, so cool as I don’t know what I or He is going go write each time I write something 😃🥰😉 ❤️.

One thing to always remember is, You are So Loved ❤️.

Patricia <3  :)

Romans 15:13    May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

 

Here’s a song I was talking about, and it gets you up and going, and as it said “walking on sunshine” which helps you be more excited for life 😊.

 

“Walking on Sunshine” by Katrina & The Waves

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPUmE-tne5U&list=PL3whQX319DaDRLyOobrzIgAqrswAaE8Kn&index=17