When Obsessions take over your life – Part 1

 

Because I have been struggling a lot with Obsessions I decided to put this over 2 posts about 2 weeks apart.  For Part 1 it’s Apr 29-May 1, 2023. – Part 2 will be on May 13, 2023

On April 29, 2023 I was still struggling Mentally a lot, which unfortunately seems to be an on going thing, but I am still trying to work through that.  My sweet hubby helped me calm me down after I got into a quite obsessive food mode of feeling this intense need to take pictures of the food as well as obsession of needing to eat foods whether I was full or not.

My Obsessions with my Best Before food stuff/Strange ED and worry about how to figure out having the food stuff in the way I want had taken over more then I could handle.  I can worry so much about not wasting food with the BB dates, and feeling this need to eat it up even if I’m full because I don’t want it to go to waste was going through my mind.

I just couldn’t seem to turn it off.  To make things worse I wanted to take pictures of my cereals and documenting about them, and needing to eat each bowl to taste the difference, and because I forgot to take a picture of a bow of cereal, I had to eat more cereal, so I could take more pictures for a future documenting references.  I knew deep down I didn’t actually need to do this, but I just couldn’t seem to stop, as my anxiety went so up when I didn’t do that.  I know it’s so hard to be vulnerable and open up, but I know it’s important to write about, as I’m sure there may people out there that is like me or may possibly know someone like me.

Anyways I was trying to relax about my obsession and my ED craziness, when I prayed  

“Lord Help me with my Obsessions - You know what all those are - and help me to feel better - so that I can truly Let Go not just my ED, but everything that is Holding me Back.  – To really show me that Letting those Go - will help me focus on more important things like Loving and Supporting my sweet Hubby  - who has been supporting and helping me for so long - and of course getting better.

     I don't know how I'll get there - but You do my Elohim (God) – so Help me to get there sooner than later.

 I know being in the right frame of mind really does make a big difference when making better choices – So help me to stay there more - so I can make better decisions to do what I need to do. Thank you My Elohim for listening and connecting with me today <3.”

 

Then the next day on April 30, 2023 my sweet hubby played me the song 

Glory of Love by Peter Cetera

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQHhqDRn4_c&list=PL3whQX319DaDRLyOobrzIgAqrswAaE8Kn&index=11

 

Which is a lovely song just about fighting for the person all in the name of love.

This made me my most lovely hubby and I dance again, which made me think about our Happy Dance Day, which I talked about in a previous post, to just have a happy moment & dance time, helped me to see that there can be love in a midst of this crazy chaos of life.

So though I continued to struggle mentally so much connected to my obsessions, ED, etc. and yes- it's not easy, as I can still feel the super stress behind it- both in my mind and my gut trying to get through – and that pushes me to almost give up each day. 

To remember like my sweet hubby was showing me again and again that the thing to remember like this song is to keep fighting for and thinking of love in those struggles and battles and that’s what will get your through to that other peaceful side that you need.

But also to know that it’s not just him fighting for me each day, but our Loving Elohim (God) is too.

 

Then on May 1, 2023 unfortunately I continued to be Super Obsessive and Mentally struggling a lot today.

I said I was hoping when I tried to change something once that things would be done and better for me, but I’m realizing nope that’s not the case.

It’s like if you only said I love you to someone you cared about once, and never said it again, they likely would end up thinking that you don’t love them.  But you might say oh – but I said it once that’s enough, - they would know if I didn’t.  Nope it’s something that you have to not only say once, but show and do it each day – otherwise the person may lose hope that it’s not true anymore.

So that can be said about your own internal battles, as those struggles and obsessions that you’ve had for so long isn’t going to stop overnight unless each day you say to that battle - No to it regularly.

So as much as I'd love for those struggles to completely go away - it's something I have to deal with - like everyone else - so that means - not giving into them is important, which is something I'll need to keep working on.

It’s the same as temptations, the more you give into them, the more they suck you into this destructive lifestyle that you may have not originally mean to get into, but the fear that gets attached to it, causes a person to do things more than they would have before.

So the more you defuse it, and let others and Elohim (God) help you when it becomes too much, is when you can slowly get your life back together.

Patricia  <3  :)

 

1 Corinthians 16:13-14     Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.  Do everything in love.

 

Here’s a song which is a lovely song just about fighting for the person all in the name of love.

Glory of Love by Peter Cetera

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQHhqDRn4_c&list=PL3whQX319DaDRLyOobrzIgAqrswAaE8Kn&index=11