Need to Keep Fighting

 


I had a difficult talk with my husband today being April 21, 2023, as he's worried that I'm not going to make it in the long run, the way that I am going - with the aspect of me so often have it where, “I Just keep letting things happen to me” when it comes to my Gut & Mental health, as well as my anorexia.

He want me to find that Fight in me.  To have it where I am the Victor instead of the Victim all the time.

I get scared because – all I seem to be when I am in those very stressed out times I have on a regular basis is this  "scared little girl", and I give into those victim feelings, as I feel completely helpless a lot of the time.

My sweet hubster as I call him sometimes, reminded me - that there is always a Fighter always in me.  It’s like the Phoenix that's in Jean Gray from the movie and comic’s X-Men, that is so unbelievably Strong, and all it wants is to burst out and Fight and get Angry at the enemy that is around her.

It’s hard when she keeps letting the enemy keep beating her down, until she a little shell of a thing, as it makes her feel like she can’t recover from that pain and battle that keeps going on.  I know I can feel that way.

My sweet hubby just doesn't want to lose me - so I have to keep reminding myself – I Need to Keep Fighting - especially against the enemy - to get that Angry Phoenix energy out at the enemy instead of myself, as getting angry or even more awful hurting myself, isn’t going to make things better, it will only make things worse.  When you hurt yourself that way, then the enemy is winning, which you don’t want, as you want to be fighting against the enemy with God and yourself instead of agreeing with the enemy.

Oh the struggles continue to be so brutal, which is why I often unfortunately give into what the enemy wants, which is to take me out forever, and it often uses sneaky ways of tripping me up, like temptations of things that I like and want, but aren't good for me.

So I need to rise above all those things like the Phoneix does, and keep telling myself I Need to Keep Fighting both for myself, my hubby, loved ones and of course my Elohim (God).  That way we can all go against the enemy, as the enemy is never going to back down.

I just have to keep remember that I'm not alone in this - that Elohim is there just waiting and watching to come into that Fighting Battle with me, I just have to let Him be a part of that.

Letting Elohim in with my battles with my depression, anxiety, suicidalation, anorexia, and more will help make these little battles turn into big wins against the enemy, have the victory you so desperately need.

So don’t give up, as each day you keep fighting to live, is one day closer to getting to that victory in freedom with Elohim.

Patricia <3  :)

 

Jeremiah 1:19    They will fight against you, but they shall not prevail against you, for I am with you, declares the Lord, to deliver you.


Here’s a good song about when struggling to make it through the day – and that I was not meat to walk this road alone, and I can always trust Elohim (God) when He says “I will carry you”, be your strength and pull you through – just reach your hand and pray and He’ll help you stand, and when you are weak – He will carry you.

 

“I Will Carry You” By Michael W. Smith

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMZj0520v0g&list=PL3whQX319DaB37iB8NZpJe206iSdpe3kc&index=58

 

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