Self-sabotaging in different ways

 

On Apr. 16, 2023 my lovely hubby was mentioning to me and I agree that I need to figure out how to stop self-sabotaging myself in different ways. And even though I want to get better it’s not as easy as one would realize to stop.

As between the ED, my obsessions, and my negative thoughts I often frequently end up making things worse for myself, or making not great choices and that can often result in hurting myself, whether I mean to or not.

I have it where even when I'm trying to do better, and I still end up unconsciously self-sabotaging myself.  An example of that is when I suddenly getting hungry and thirsty and I end up having more then I should as I suddenly feel so hungry and thirty, when if I had held back and spread it out throughout the day, it might not be as bad.

So it often ends up affecting my Body, Gut, Mind, Sleep, how much I can eat, etc. or whatever else the next day.

Other Self-sabotages I have is procrastinating things as I just "don't feel up for things".  I give into my tiredness connected to that all the time.  Then when I need to do something I will get so anxious that I used up all my time doing “nothing” when I suddenly have to do a task.  I know it’s not ideal to get behind on things, but when you suddenly have this huge amount of items you have to do it can be so daunting that it can stop you have doing much of anything.

Changing that for sure isn’t easy, but if you aren’t working, like I am, then trying to do one or two things a day is a good start and go from there.

I know my obsessions with food, and at times needing to write things down, isn’t ideal especially when it controls you to the point that if you don’t do what your mind is telling you to do, you end up screaming at yourself when you don’t do them. 

It can even cause you to feel terrified if you didn’t give into a food you want, or starve yourself in some way, or write down exactly what is on your mind, otherwise you won’t remember those really important things you were learning from life.  That it’s like your life is going to be over.  But the truth is the more you give into those obsessions the stronger of a hold they will have on you.

So learning how to say NO to them even a little bit will help.

I do know for sure my ED have a big strong hold on me, when it comes to self-sabotaging myself, which isn't a good thing.  I know it’s something I'll want to get rid of at some point.

These are things I need help from Elohim to work on and get better.

There was also another thing that my husband mentioned to me connected to self-sabotaging, which is about getting out of the Victim mentality (whoa is me) or me always focusing on the negative feelings, sensations etc. (and feeling like I can't do anything).

It’s the whole wanting to be (healed) but not wanting to do much about it.

It can be dangerous if I expected Elohim's (God’s) healing to only happen by Him alone, if I'm not doing anything to help with that – or worse if I’m actually going against the healing He actually wants to give me – you can’t expect miracles to happen if you don’t want to get truly healed.  I know one part for me is my ED, I’m so scared about giving that up, that even though I want it gone and wanting my Elohim to take it away – there is still too much of me that won’t let it go – so that ends up tying Elohim’s hands as He can’t force you to do something you really don’t want Him to do.

Another example, which some people may have heard of before is the whole story of the guy that was on his house and there was a flood and it kept getting higher and higher - and him saying no to the help he could get from a boat, helicopter, etc. - As he said "God's going to come and save me" so he refused all that help, then when he drowned, - and he met God in the afterlife, the guy asked God why didn't you come and save me.  And that's when God said I sent you all these options of being saved off of your house, but you refused it, so what do you expect.

It's a reminder of why getting out of that negative victim mentally is important.  My husband reminded me for change to happen that getting into that Fighter mentally is important.  It’s the I can do things, I can accept help from others and do things another person’s way, even if it’s not my own way is okay when it helps.

It’s a way of saving/fighting for myself - yet at the same time letting Elohim and others help you. As Elohim just wants to guide us to His true healing He has for us in our life's journey of yours and His. 

So though it can be hard to accept help from others, even from our Elohim (God), it’s important to do that, so we can get us out of our self-sabotaging ways.

Patricia <3  :)

 

James 1:5   If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.

 

Here’s a song about our Lord came to Earth to rescue us, and His love has set the captives free.

 

“My Heart Is Overwhelmed” by Hillsong

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmPpChKbyOE&list=PL3whQX319DaB37iB8NZpJe206iSdpe3kc&index=57